I'm so sorry but I forgot my journal/sticky note of
things that happened this week!!!! I'm the worst :( Sooooo sorry. I
will catch up on what I forgot next week.
WE GOT REASSIGNED!!!! TO RAINTREE!!!! hahahah it's not
our real reassignments, but they are moving our zone to raintree.
EVERYTHING I TELL YOU IS ALL I KNOW. All we need to know is that it's
all according to the Lord and trust in Him and have faith. What happens,
happens. So we're moving to Raintree next Tuesday and will be the
"pioneer" missionaries as the teachers called it. We will be hosts the
next day....maybe if Lindsay gets put into Raintree I'll get to see
her!! They'll provide shuttles up to the central MTC for our last-minute
tasks and for the temple--our teachers said we will want for nothing
(in essence) and that if we need stuff as we are getting ready to leave
the MTC we'll be able to get up here to get it done....hope that run-on
made sense. No clue how mail/packages will work. They would not send us
there if they did not have it figured out. They are catering us food
(I'm assuming BYU food-to-go) and there will be laundry. We'll probably
only be there for 6-10 days, depending on travel plans. We're either
getting reassignments tomorrow or next thursday...no clue. I have no
clue about visas, reassignments, anything, REALLY. Everything I've told
you is all I know. This is week 5 for us (they count those first few
days as a week) so I think we'll get our reassignments next week (in
week six). Basically we're all stoked!!!
The new two zones are great. One is just elders:
Williams, Powell, Adams, and two others.....woops. The other district has five elders: Miekle,
Clingo, Schow, and two others....forgot them too. Hahahahhah the
hermanas are much more important to me.The Hermanas are wonderful and I
love them all so much!! Hermanas Hadlock, Graffleman, Black, and
Kirkham. Their companionships are made in heaven and they're all getting
along splendid--it's almost unreal. Also, for a beginners class, they
all know lots of spanish and have had relatively good first lessons. Hna C and I
trained them with the zone leaders on thursday and they each stood up
and told us a short testimony and why they're here. Each of them was SO
DIFFERENT, yet we all had the same thing in common--this Gospel, and our
Savior Jesus Christ! It was amazing to feel of their spirits and be
uplifted by their words.
Then on Sunday we sang and said goodbye to the
departing district. That was SO SAD, yet SO EXTREMELY EXCITING!! It was a
rather odd mix of emotions. We sang to them and gave them notes and
stuff and then said goodbye to two elders that got their visas
last-minute to peru. The 5 hermanas are headed to Kennowick WA and are
going to be fabulous! They all had such great influences on my life and I
will remember them forever.... Hermanas
Ray, Newbold, Robison, Villalobos, and Patton became some of my bestest
buds in just four weeks--but especially in these last 2 weeks as STL. We
got to visit their rooms each night and give them hugs, listen to their
worries, and cry and talk and laugh and
cry. I love crying....It's uber weird!! I've
barely cried here and when I do it's like taking your belt off after
Thanksgiving!! Thanks to the cielos for tear ducts and snuffly noses.
Like I told the Hermanas when they cried. "Jesus wept" (there's a
scripture ENTIRELY devoted to Christ crying), and so can we. If we're
trying to be like Jesus, why not cry??
Hahah anyways... so I cannot remember anything
else....when you're learning all this stuff, your journal becomes your
memory bank. It's interesting here how many people want to go home. It's
hard--but in such a weirder way than I expected. I cannot even try to
describe it. I've been fine because I'm so darn stubborn I wouldn't come
home "unless I was in a body bag" like Trevor so wisely stated. But
when you fail in lesson after lesson after lesson and are progressing at
such a slow rate, and the teachers/prophets/Grandmother willow keep
telling you that the salvation of man is upon your shoulders...that's
when the weeping of missionaries happens. So please pray for those
wailing missionaries. Almost every missionary I've talked to has thought
at one point, "why am I here? should I go home?"
It hurts for me to admit this, but I had that thought
my first week here. On thursday night, I remember sitting at my desk,
looking down at my scriptures, the burden of my inadequacies riding on
my shoulders and thinking, "should I go home?" I remember that it was
not, "why am I here?" I knew that with ALL MY HEART. All of it. But the
first thought (should I go home) caught me offguard and I was repulsed
at myself and embarrassed and terrified that I would ever think that. It
was horrifying to me. BUT. Then I talked to myself like a crazy person.
I went through EVERY REASON in my head, my heart, and my soul why I was
here. WHY? Because this gospel is SO TRUE, Jesus Christ is SO REAL, and
His Atonement works so good, SO GOOD, that I could not abandon it and
run home. The first thought that came into my head right after (should I
go home) was, "Are you KIDDING me?" (refer to Glory Road for a good
reenactment) Hahaha I'm like some weirdo coach to myself. But honestly,
each of our paths is different, God has a different path in life for
each of us, mission or not. But if one thing is true, it's that we
should NEVER abandon the faith we have because it's "too hard". Are you
kidding me? NEVER. (Pretend like I'm Elder Holland yelling at you and
this just gets 10x better.) One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah
41:10. If He will never up and leave us, if He will never forsake us,
why should we? Because it is too hard? Because our friends want us to?
Because I'm too tired. Nope nope nope. Now is when you go read/sing How
Firm a Foundation....Fear not, I am with thee o be not afraid. For I am
thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen theee help thee
and cause thee to stand. Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand!
.......The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I
cannot, desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor
to shake, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never, I'll never, no
never, no never forsake! Were there enough nevers in there for y'all?
Goodie goo. Have faith, people! Read your scriptures, everybody! Love
those around you while you can, before they leave and then you're an
empty old dead person with no one to love. God commands us to l ove
everyone so just do it.
Sorry this was the craziest email ever--hope something made sense!
Also,
I was in the temple this morning randomly reading Luke something.....
And there was this scripture that said, "take up your cross DAILY and
follow me" How much more specific can He get? Daily. I loved this
because He wants us to follow Him daily, look to Him in every thought,
and then find ourselves by losing ourselves. Jesus loves you and so do
I!!!! Have a splendiferous week and I'll talk to you from Raintree....or
letter-wise because I doubt we'lll have computers there.... I have no
clue.
Thank you all for the loves and letters and food!!! You are all on
my thoughts and I can feel you love down here often!! I hope you can
feel mine!!
I LOVE YOU ALL LIKE THE SUN LOVES MOM'S SKIN!!!!!
Con amor, Hermana Harkness
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